The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not
share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the
child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the
wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them. Ezekiel 18:20 NIV
Anybody who truly knew Austyn knows that the young man was
no angel. In the few years that I had known him he had committed several crimes
and had wronged a lot of people. Because of his track record, most people
didn't trust him and I will admit that when he came back into our lives 14
months or so before he passed away I was a little hesitant at first. One of the
problems with Austyn was that after he committed a crime or hurt somebody, he
wasn't usually remorseful about it. In fact, he was usually quick to blame
somebody else or justify his actions based on his perception of somebody
else's' prior actions. If he was apologetic, it was usually a "snow
job" attempt to get off the hook for what he had done. In a way I kind of understand why he was that
way. He had been around a lot of actors/actresses and a lot of people who only
pretended to be repentant or remorseful for their actions.
Austyn and I had some pretty intense face-to-face
interactions over the first few months after he came back. He found out that
Karen and I were not as naive as he believed us to be and that we would not
accept the excuses he offered up for his actions. I made it very clear to him
that he was responsible for his actions and nobody else. It truly was one of
the hardest things I have ever had to do. It was tough love in a very tough
way. The things that we made sure of, Austyn knew we cared about him, would
always follow through with any promises we made to him and above all, loved him
through our actions. He kept coming back. I guess that says it all.
When Austyn went to Lark Ranch with us in October 2012, he was
wearing a cast on his right arm. Austyn had been accused of a crime, based on
his prior history, and in his anger hit a cement block wall with his right
fist. That fractured several bones in his right hand/arm. It was proven later
that the accusations were false and that he was truly innocent of the charges. Austyn
justified his actions of hitting the cement wall because he was angry that he had
been wrongly accused. At that moment, I had to enact the toughest love that a
"father" can. I made it very evident to him that he needed to start
taking responsibility for his actions and stop blaming others for the
"stupid" things that he was doing. That was the beginning of a
transformation that God was preparing Austyn to go through. I would love to say
that Austyn was on the right path at that moment, but it would take one more
incident to really get his attention. He was arrested in December 2012 for
operating a motor vehicle without a license and spent several weeks in the Martin County
Detention Center
It was after all of that when we starting to see a change.
The old Austyn was being transformed because of the GRACE of God. We could
really "see" the changes in Austyn. He would sit in the kitchen and
tell us that he had made so many mistakes and owed so many people apologies.
You could tell that he was being sincere and genuine. The "snow job"
was gone. He had started taking responsibility for his actions, past and
present and he wanted to make amends. At times he seemed almost in a panic
because he wanted to apologize to people that he had wronged, he wanted to do
it in person and he wanted to do it as quickly as possible. I would love to say
that Austyn accomplished his goal, but unfortunately some folks would not allow
him to apologize and I am sure they wouldn't have believed him if he had. Some
folks only believe in God's grace when it applies to them, and not to somebody
like him. Here is what I believe though because it is what the Bible says in
Ephesians 2:8-9, " For it is by grace you have been saved, through
faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is
the gift of God— not
by works, so that no one can boast."
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