Old Spice Cologne, Pipe Smoke and Sawdust

Old Spice cologne, smoke from a pipe and the smell of sawdust all have one thing in common for me; they all bring back wonderful memories of a Dad who loved me so very much and demonstrated it through the physical affection he showed me. My Dad’s father passed away when my Dad was fairly young, around 11 years old or so. I don’t really know much about my Grandpa Cowell, but if he was anything like my Dad he was probably an affectionate man. Even if he wasn’t, that was the way my Dad was and that is how he taught me to be. My Dad hugged and kissed me and told me he loved me up until the last day we were physically with each other and I was 38 years old at the time. Even beyond that he always told me he loved me before he hung up the phone whenever he called. Honestly, I miss that immensely.

Karen and I are not shy about showing our affections for each other, but I want this to be about my relationship with my sons so just know that is why I won’t mention our marriage relationship anymore in this post. I am sure my boys would not like me to share this but I am going to anyway because it shows how the tradition of showing physical affection between Dad and Sons lives on in our household. I have kissed, hugged and told my sons I love them since birth. That is just the kind of person that I am. I have had to learn to control my Public Display of Affection (PDA) because it embarrasses my sons. Because I never want them to stop showing their affection to me in a physical way, I control my urges to hug and kiss them in public (although I sneak one in from time to time). Both of them still tell me that they love me and hug me multiple times each day and both boys allow me to kiss them in the privacy of our home. Every morning I kiss both of my sons before I sneak out of the house to go to work. I NEVER MISS my morning kiss with them because it is as important as anything else in my life and I would rather be late than miss kissing my sons.

Now I know there are those people who are thinking, “You don’t have to kiss, hug and tell your kids that you love them to show your affection to them!” Well, if that works for you and your kids, good for you! That doesn’t work for me and I am going to do it my way until my boys won’t allow me to. So why is it that important to me? Because I believe that my sons need the security that comes from knowing that I wanted them, I accept them and I love them…period. The best way for me to do that is by demonstrating for them my love and affection in a physical way.

One of the things I have learned as a Dad, my kids will always need my affection in some way to help them feel secure. When they were real little guys, they would crawl into my lap and snuggle with me while we watched television or movies together. Now, they sit on the couch with me and sometimes casually lean against me. It is subtle, but I understand the message. It is a grown-up way of cuddling and I am really good with that. I enjoy it!