Welcome Home, Son, Welcome Home!

 

 

In The Last Battle, C.S. Lewis gave this description of the “real” Narnia which we all know was an allegory of heaven: "But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world ... had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before."

On September 2, 2013 we lost Austyn. Although it shocked all of us who loved him, it didn't catch God off guard. He saw it coming and I believe that at the moment Austyn left this life, God was there to greet him in a way Austyn had never been greeted before.

You see, I don’t believe in a passive God. I believe that God is more zealous about his creations than any human being could ever be. I believe that God is very hands-on in fashioning each and every one of us in the unique way that he desires. None of us were accidents. Even if a child is conceived unintentionally, that child is intentionally and intimately designed by a God who loves every single cell in their body.

Although God is omni-everything, I still believe that God is waiting with passionate excitement for us to join him in heaven. God had been waiting almost 19 years for Austyn to come home. As a Dad, if I had waited 19 years to be with one of my sons and the day finally arrived when one of them was coming home, you better get out of this Dad’s way. I would pull out all the stops. Nothing would hold me back. As a human Dad, I would do everything I could to show my sons how much I had missed them, how excited I was to get to see them, and I would do everything I could to keep from ever having to be apart from them again. So it is not hard for me to imagine what Austyn’s homecoming was like.

Picture this: a hot, humid labor day in southern Indiana with a potpourri of country related smells mixed with the smells of traffic exhaust. Imagine the sounds of roaring engines and the overall busyness of everyone around you. Imagine an excitement within you because things are starting to go so well for you at church but at the same time having heaviness within you because in other areas so many things seem to be working against you. Imagine wanting to get a decent job but not being able to because you haven’t completed your education, although you're working on your GED. Imagine the emotional frustration of wanting to get a driver’s license but not being able to because the documentation that you need to accomplish it is flawed. Imagine having your mind racing because there are so many things that you want to share with others…

...imagine to your amazement that you are standing in the most awe-inspiring place. Words cannot describe what you are experiencing because you have never seen anything like it before. People are rushing to welcome you and you are experiencing a love that you have never experienced before. There is no more heaviness within you, no more unpleasant smells or sounds around you and the temperature is perfect. Then you see the masses parting to reveal a majestic figure. You realize that this is God: your real Father, your creator. His presence completely engulfs you with the ultimate “love” experience and when you think that it couldn’t get any better, he looks at you and says, “welcome home son, welcome home!”

Out of selfish desires I still wish Austyn were with us. I miss having him sit in our kitchen eating to the point where he was about to burst. I miss hearing him tap away on the keyboard of the computer as he surfed the internet in search of the really cool thing that he wanted to show us. I miss seeing him sitting on the couch, quietly holding Petra, for hours at a time. I miss hearing him tell us about how his GED preparatory classes were going. I miss our discussions about God and life. I miss...  

...then I realize that my selfish desires must acquiesce to what is best for Austyn.  For that reason on this September 2, 2014 the only thing left for me to say is …welcome home son, welcome home.

A Very Comforting Thing To Have

"Friendship," said Christopher Robin, "is a very comforting thing to have.”- A.A Milne in Winnie-the-Pooh.

A while back, Karen and I were reminiscing about different times in our lives and the different people that we have shared it with over the years. Some of those friendships teetered on the rim of the totally ridiculous while others have been intense. Each one has left us with memories and some have provided material for me to use to write about... :)

John and Lisa were the first friends that Karen and I had together. We knew them from church before we got married and after we got married we continued that friendship. They really were a unique couple. An interesting piece of trivia about these two was that the same day that they got married before the justice of the peace, John checked Lisa into the hospital for a psych evaluation. I learned that was not the optimum way to start off a marriage. After Lisa got out, their marriage was strained to say the least. Although our friendships continued, it was not exactly mutually beneficial to all of us. They had a habit of asking for favors and were extremely moody. They were always complaining about things and we found that friendship to be very draining. We started going weeks, and then more than a month, at a time when we didn't talk to each other. Then they moved away without us even knowing it. One month they were there, the next month they were gone. We can't help but wonder what ever happened to them but continue to chuckle to ourselves whenever we think about them.

Galen and Tammy were another couple that came into our lives and their friendship will always have a special place in our hearts. Karen, the boys and I were new to McAlester, Oklahoma because I had just accepted a new job with the Department of Army and we had moved there to start a new life. We visited the 1st Assembly of God in town and we were met out in the parking lot by Galen. He instantly became a hit with my boys because he liked to sneak up behind them and "catch/scare" them. It was a game that began almost on day one and continued until we left a year later. Galen and Tammy were what I refer to as extremely intentional friends. They invited us to their home for a BBQ and swimming almost immediately after we moved there. Then they helped us get involved in our local church by helping us get involved in building props and piñatas for the annual "family festival" in October. Because of their intentionality, all of us felt like we really were important "family" to them. Thinking about them always brings a smile to my face.

Although there have been many more friends in our lives throughout the years, these two couples demonstrate two very different types of friendships: convenience and intentional.

John and Lisa were convenience friends. They are classic examples of those types of friends who are only around when it is easy for them and when they get much more from the friendship than they have to put into the friendship. At the time I didn't really realize it, but they started out as convenience friends and never progressed much beyond that. When given other choices, they did not gravitate towards spending time with us UNLESS they wanted something from us. Then they were quick to call to ask us to come over.

Galen and Tammy were the epitome of intentional friends. They put so much effort into making us feel like family. They didn't just talk the talk, they walked the walk. They demonstrated with their lives how God intended real friendships to be.  In hindsight though, I have come to realize that although they were extremely intentional in their friendships towards us, we were not as intentional in return. It wasn't purposeful. I guess I just didn't know how real friends behaved. I thank God that he brought wonderful people like Galen and Tammy into our lives to teach us, but I am ashamed to have to admit that it wasn't until we moved away that I realized how important their friendship had been to us.

But...

We did learn. One of the things that I learned was that not all friendships are going to be intentional. Very few really are and that's ok. Convenience friendships serve their purpose. It allows us to accomplish things with other people that is beneficial without having to commit too deeply on an emotional level. So, convenience friendships are a good thing.

Although very few in numbers, I learned that our intentional friendships are to be cherished and nurtured. These friendships are the ones that I can draw from when I need physical, emotional and spiritual support and ones that my intentional friends can draw from when they need the same. These take a lot of effort and are not to be taken lightly. On the other hand, they are very rewarding and I do cherish my intentional friends. To my intentional friends, and you know who you are...Thank you for being intentional!

And to Galen and Tammy...THANK YOU for demonstrating for us what it means to be intentional friends...

Sticks and Stones

The March 1862 edition of The Christian Recorder had the first documented account of this old nursery rhyme:

            Sticks and stones may break my bones,
            But words will never harm me.

As we become adults, we become acutely aware of how wrong that nursery rhyme really is. Sure, sticks and stones can break bones but bones eventually heal again. Words, once spoken cannot be taken back and can continue to haunt the wrong person for potentially the rest of their lives.

In my early teens, I was excited to finally reach 12 years of age because I was going to be able to join the youth group, which was thriving at our little Church located in the Sierra Nevada Mountains of Northern California. I vividly remember attending the first youth meeting, just to hear the youth pastor announce that he was resigning and moving away. I was absolutely heart-broken. Hope was restored within a couple of weeks when another young single male layperson decided to take the non-paying position. He took the position and attendance quickly plummeted. Within a few months, only about a half-dozen "drugged" youth members (those drugged to church by their parents) remained. His last great act before he quit as youth pastor and dropped out of church completely was to write letters to all his remaining youth attendees. After he distributed the letters, he promptly left. Since our parents were still in church, we decided to open our letters and share with each other what he had to say. The first few letters were great words of affirmation, which left me excited to see what he had written to me. I opened the letter and started reading a laundry list of  the faults that he saw in me. I was absolutely devastated. From that day forward, I struggled a lot because I had a low self image of myself. The seed of doubt had been sown.

By the time I reached my Senior year in high school, I had already decided that as soon as I graduated I would find a job and work at a blue collar job the rest of my life. Having worked several summers as a custodian at the high school that I attended, I had come to believe that I probably couldn't do any better. College was only for kids from wealthy families and I wasn't one of those. But God had bigger plans for my life and he was going to use another person to plant yet another seed. That seed was called "hope". This woman told me that I was destined for bigger things and that I could accomplish my goals and dreams. Although I took a stab at college out of high school, it took 15 years for that "hope" seed to sprout and take root. You see, the doubt seed that was planted in my youth had such a strong root system that it would hang on long into my adulthood.

 

Five years after Karen and I got married the decision was made that I would go back to college to finish my education. After the first semester, we ran out of money and I hit a whole new low in my life. I literally cried all the way home that night from work when I realized that my dream of finishing my education had ended and that I was going to be stuck in my present job for the rest of my life. Karen knew something was wrong as soon as I got home and I had to tell her that I no longer was going to have money to go to school on. I had maintained a 3.6 GPA but I was an older student (32 years old) and scholarships were not plentiful for somebody like me. Karen encouraged me to take a leap of faith and after prayerful consideration, we continued on utilizing low interest student loans. By this time, we had learned a valuable lesson about marriage that some folks never seem to grasp. Once a couple are married, God expects them to function as a single unit. As I continued to take classes, it was truly a partnership this time and we have attacked all problems with this methodology since. WE graduated in August 2002 with OUR Bachelors in Accounting and would finish OUR Master's in Management in 2007, just two months before my Dad passed away. In 2003, WE were hired by the Department in Army as a GS-05 and today WE are a GS-13 (equivalent between major and lieutenant-colonel). Leaving spirituality out of the discussion at this point, by man's standards WE have done alright in OUR education and career, however in the background of my mind there is a list of faults that plays from time to time planted by a person in my youth.    

If you have ever read Genesis Chapter One, you have seen the words, "and God said..." That is always followed by an action because when God says something, it happens. Jesus said in Mark 11:23, "Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him." In other words, our words have authority (when coupled with faith) and action can be taken based on them. The whole point here is that words (speech) are very powerful and if they were not, God would not have high-lighted the power within them in his Word (the Bible).

Just as a person planted seeds of doubt in my mind at a young age, we all are able to build others up or tear them down based on the words that we speak to them. We just have to remember that the words we speak to our children and spouses can either build them up or tear them down. It is amazing how many people don't realize the long-term damage they are doing when they say things like, "I knew you wouldn't be able to do that right" or "your not very bright." Sometimes it's not that blatant or obvious, but the intention is negative none-the-less.

The good news is that it is never too late to change the way we speak to our loved ones and others with whom we interact, especially if we have been speaking negative things towards them. If we put into practice the concept that as married couples we are truly a single unit, then it only makes sense that we would want to speak positive things into our mate. By building our mates up, we are strengthening ourselves. Also, by being cognitive that we need to try to balance the negative corrective discipline of our children with an equal amount of affirmation, we strengthen the familial unit by having children who are able to identify appropriate behaviors/actions but also have healthy self-esteems.

Unsafe Distances

We had a simple plan a couple of nights ago. After eating dinner, Karen and I decided to tramp out into a portion of our woods that we seldom visit to retrieve an old tire that we could use to build a "football toss" carnival style game. We still have a half dozen or so tires that had been left there by the previous land owner and we decided to utilize one.

Little did we realize what we were about to experience. I was on point and Karen was about 20 feet behind me as I entered the brush/tree line. All of a sudden I heard Karen yell that something had bitten her. My mind instantly interpreted that as her having been bitten by a venomous snake. I turned to go back to help her and noticed that she was holding her hand/arm. At that point, I didn't have time to even re-evaluate what had just happened. I felt the first pains on my body and I looked around and realized that I was being swarmed by dozens of black and white bald-faced hornets. Without realizing it, I had stepped up next to their nest and the bald-faced hornets are known to be more aggressive than other hornets, wasps or bees. They can each sting multiple times and will chase those that they feel are a danger to their nests long distances to protect it. 

Karen took off running towards the house and I was right behind her. We were still a couple hundred feet from the house when Karen fell face first to the ground. As I reached her to pick her up, I still had a couple of hornets stuck in my clothes. I killed those hornets, helped Karen up and we raced up to our barn. Since we were quite a distance from the hornets by then, they had abandoned their attack and we were now able to evaluate our injuries. Karen had one sting, a skinned up left knee, right thigh and right arm. I had eight stings, all of which were on the right side of my body, all of which were below the waist except for one sting on my lower right back. We then went into the house, applied "after bite" to our stings (which helps relieve some of the discomfort and actually works) and Karen cleaned her wounds. Not wanting to give up too easily, Karen and I went out to the barn to build the game frame anyway. As we were retrieving the lumber from our lumber stack, God allowed us to see a tire that we had all but forgotten about. It was one that was out in the woods before but I had brought up to the house to dispose of. We used it instead!

Because I don't believe that God allows bad things to happen to people for no reason, I asked him last night what was the purpose for all of this taking place. The simple lesson that I learned from this, that could be applied in a spiritual way, is that sometimes bad things happen to good people just because they allow themselves to get too close to a bad situation. They may not even do it intentionally, but they do it none-the-less. Sometimes people are be-bopping along and not paying attention to lurking dangers and then get caught unaware when something bad happens.  They may not really be doing anything wrong, but close proximity is enough for them to get stung. In some applications of this principle, close proximity may not even be a physical thing, but an emotional thing or even the appearance of impropriety.

Missing "Family"

Karen and I have had some really great friends at our house for fellowships over the last couple of months. We really look forward to these events because we get to be with people who have become a sort of extended family. In one case, it really is the reuniting of two families that I truly believe that God never intended to be separated in the first place. The details of the division are no longer important, just the fact that God has started mending the rift that caused us to become separated in the first place.

In a way it is bitter sweet though. Two members of our extended family that God intended to be with us are not. One through death, the other due to something else. It truly saddens me because in different ways both are missed.

As the first year anniversary of Austyn's death approaches on September 2nd, we have already started making plans on how we are going to "deal" with that memorable day. I personally have taken the week off because I don't want to be at work during that period of time. When you love somebody as much as we loved Austyn, certain times can be really challenging. Christmas was one of those times, which is why Karen and I made the wooden horses in the colors that Austyn's biological mother attributed to him, teal and purple. It gave us a chance to share something with his biological family in a tangible way.

I suspect in some folks eyes we have gone a little over-board when it comes to keeping our memories of Austyn alive. One person has accused Karen and me of creating "shrines" to him because we wanted to have something tangible that we gave  to him that he physically touched. I can't help but wonder if the person who accused us of this type of "unhealthy" behavior would be making these kinds of statements if their own (God forbid) biological child had physically passed away. You see, that is how Karen and I viewed Austyn, as one of our boys. The items that we have that Austyn touched are not on display, they are tucked away in a drawer. We rarely get them out. Karen and I have pictures of all of the kids that we adore on display in our house, all seven of them. I even have pictures of all three of my boys displayed on my office walls at work. I had them there before Austyn died and they are still there now. I don't know how that type of behavior has become describable as building "shrines", but if it is then I am guilty.

I tend to be a very emotional person and I have had to let God work on me because in the past I have allowed my emotions to lead me to take action when I should have allowed God to be in control. I have strong opinions of right and wrong and I am constantly learning to allow God's Word to be the standard by which to judge right/wrong. Having said that, I am still human and I want to take up for the under-dog. Maybe that is how God created me. In my eyes, Austyn was an under-dog. Sure, he made a lot of stupid (and I mean STUPID) mistakes and he frequently did it the Pentecostal way (in groups) but he was extremely remorseful about it in the last several months of his life and that made his past mistakes forgivable. Why even mention the stuff in the last several sentences?

Because I mentioned that there was a second extended family member missing and I strongly believe that is true.  Our love for Austyn and our willingness to accept his repentance as being real is the chasm that separates us from our other member. This member chooses to not believe that God was able to transform Austyn's life because they feel that Austyn was playing a part and was unwilling or unable to change. This member defiantly chose not to spend any time with him during the last 14 months of his life but is able to draw these conclusions. In a way, that member needs to believe that Austyn was unrepentant to justify their behavior and actions towards him, including the inappropriate comments they made after he was already gone.

Here is where Justin has to let God help him get his emotions out of the way...

We all need to be reconciled. That is God's plan. It was never part of God's plan for our families to become fractured because Austyn died. For Karen and me, we became angry because one "family" member said and did some unbecoming things against Austyn. What would it take to become reconciled? Repentance and good dose of humility. The irony is that Austyn took the lead in this area and demonstrated through his life what this other member needs to learn. In the mean time, the rest of the  extended family will continue to get together and enjoy each others' company. The next "family" gathering is scheduled for September 6th (the day we buried Austyn on last year)  and we are moving forward with our lives...together.

What other plans/dreams do we still have?

Well, we need to get Austyn a headstone. We haven't been able to have one placed on his grave yet because of finances but we serve a great big God and eventually he will provide in this area. It is not a matter of if but when, and I have faith that the "when" will not be too far down the road.

I also have a dream that someday I will be able to minister again with my other best friend (other than Karen of course). There was something supernatural that took place when we ministered together and I am asking God to allow us the opportunity to minister together again. I am excited about what the future holds in this area... :)

Old Spice Cologne, Pipe Smoke and Sawdust

Old Spice cologne, smoke from a pipe and the smell of sawdust all have one thing in common for me; they all bring back wonderful memories of a Dad who loved me so very much and demonstrated it through the physical affection he showed me. My Dad’s father passed away when my Dad was fairly young, around 11 years old or so. I don’t really know much about my Grandpa Cowell, but if he was anything like my Dad he was probably an affectionate man. Even if he wasn’t, that was the way my Dad was and that is how he taught me to be. My Dad hugged and kissed me and told me he loved me up until the last day we were physically with each other and I was 38 years old at the time. Even beyond that he always told me he loved me before he hung up the phone whenever he called. Honestly, I miss that immensely.

Karen and I are not shy about showing our affections for each other, but I want this to be about my relationship with my sons so just know that is why I won’t mention our marriage relationship anymore in this post. I am sure my boys would not like me to share this but I am going to anyway because it shows how the tradition of showing physical affection between Dad and Sons lives on in our household. I have kissed, hugged and told my sons I love them since birth. That is just the kind of person that I am. I have had to learn to control my Public Display of Affection (PDA) because it embarrasses my sons. Because I never want them to stop showing their affection to me in a physical way, I control my urges to hug and kiss them in public (although I sneak one in from time to time). Both of them still tell me that they love me and hug me multiple times each day and both boys allow me to kiss them in the privacy of our home. Every morning I kiss both of my sons before I sneak out of the house to go to work. I NEVER MISS my morning kiss with them because it is as important as anything else in my life and I would rather be late than miss kissing my sons.

Now I know there are those people who are thinking, “You don’t have to kiss, hug and tell your kids that you love them to show your affection to them!” Well, if that works for you and your kids, good for you! That doesn’t work for me and I am going to do it my way until my boys won’t allow me to. So why is it that important to me? Because I believe that my sons need the security that comes from knowing that I wanted them, I accept them and I love them…period. The best way for me to do that is by demonstrating for them my love and affection in a physical way.

One of the things I have learned as a Dad, my kids will always need my affection in some way to help them feel secure. When they were real little guys, they would crawl into my lap and snuggle with me while we watched television or movies together. Now, they sit on the couch with me and sometimes casually lean against me. It is subtle, but I understand the message. It is a grown-up way of cuddling and I am really good with that. I enjoy it!

Judging

Have you ever heard somebody say this, “you have no right to judge me” or hear somebody quote Matthew 7:3-4, “"And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye?"

Is it true that we are in jeopardy of hell fire if we do judge? Well, lets explore this just a little. First of all, everyone is guilty of judging whether they choose to admit it or not. When we wake up in the morning, we choose the clothing that we wear based on our likes or dislikes. That is a judgment. When we choose what we want to eat, that is a judgment. When we go to Walmart to buy light bulbs and we choose to buy the GE brand instead of the Great Value brand; that is a judgment. So, judging is not inherently improper.

So what makes judging inherently improper or proper? The answer is quite simply, motive.

When it comes to people, especially amongst the religious types, judging others tends to raise red flags and everyone jumps on the bandwagon of "Do not judge lest you be judged yourselves" (Matthew 7:1, NASB). Although at first glance this seems to be straight-forward, it becomes a little more murky when you throw in two other sayings of Jesus found in John 7:24, “"Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment”; and Luke 12:57, "Why don't you judge for yourselves what is right?" Jesus was not requiring us to look the other way and to ignore things going on around us that is wrong. Rather, He was prohibiting judgment that was intentionally inaccurate and malicious. You see, because Jesus is the son of God he understands that sometimes people are quick to judge and criticize others because they are trying to cover up their own shortcomings and flaws. They do that by pointing out the minor flaws in others to hide the bigger flaws in themselves. Unfortunately, we are all guilty of doing this from time to time. I won’t even pretend to be flawless in this area.

So what was the point Jesus was trying to make with Matthew 7:3-4? He was prohibiting judgment that is rendered based on wrong motives. He was dealing with those persons who cannot render godly constructive correction because they have not dealt effectively with their own faults. These are the kind of people who do not seek to correct, forgive, restore and reconcile brothers and sisters to God. Instead, they intentionally do all that they can to make other peoples’ lives miserable for personal pleasure or gain.

So what type of judging is proper? When we ask God to help us with the sin in our own lives, the Holy Spirit removes those things that cloud our vision and helps us to judge things from God’s perspective: in love, seeking the best interest of the person being judged. Ultimately, the goal of righteous judgment is to bring another person closer to God. Introspectively, I need to let the Holy Spirit continue to help me in this area and I suspect that I am not alone.

Hurry Up God, You're Way Too Slow!

Like everyone else in the world, I dream of things that I would like to acquire some day. As time progresses, I realize that the day that I can fulfill one of my desires is slowly approaching. I have for years dreamed of having a pontoon party boat that we could go out on to have a good time with family and/or friends. I have been waiting many years for that dream to come to fruition and I still have a few more years to wait. Although my income is now 5 1/2 times what it was when Karen and I first got married, we still have decided to show self control by putting money away for retirement and paying off all our long-term debt as quickly as possible (which is only our mortgage now).

I wish I could say that showing self-control were easy for me but it is something that I had to learn the hard way. When I was young and dumb, I had many thousands of dollars of credit card debts and automobile loans and quickly found myself over extended. Needless to say, my credit score took a sharp nose dive and I couldn't get a loan back then to buy a candy bar in a grocery store. When Karen and I got married, I brought the extra baggage of debt into the marriage with me. Through hard work and perseverance, we paid off my debt and haven't made the same mistakes again. I guess that is why I can be tolerant of young people who make stupid mistakes because I was one at one time. About three weeks ago I received a call from the bank manager at the bank which Karen and I use. She had run my credit score and we were 11 points away from having perfect credit. She stated it was the highest score she had ever seen in her banking career. God blessed our endeavors and helped us repair the damage that I had done.

Over the years I have seen so many examples of foolish people doing foolish things. To be fair though, I have seen one great example of a man of God who took a stand to trust God to finance his church's building program and he has stood by the promise that he made to God. Here is that great example:

Over 10 years ago, Karen and I went to a large church in Fort Smith Arkansas. The pastor at this church of over 1300 members felt that God wanted them to expand their facilities so they could serve more people in the community. The church was already serving several hundred inner-city children every week and this pastor felt God wanted them to expand to serve even more families. However, the pastor knew that God wanted them to do it debt free and that they needed to raise the money so they wouldn't have to borrow it. You see, this pastor understood that although the Bible doesn't say that borrowing money is a sin, it does state that borrowing money is unwise. Proverbs 22:7 states, "The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender." It has been over 10 years, and this church still continues to raise the money for their building program and GOD HAS BLESSED THEM.

This is one example of a true man of God who has followed through on his commitment to allow God to provide the funding for God's expansion program. Unfortunately, most of us only hear about those men of God who may not have been so wise in their fund raising efforts because they tried to trump God and use debt as a means to fund their expansion program. Did you catch that? In one instance I said "God's" expansion program and in the other I said "their" expansion program. You see, when God is in it, God has the ability to finance any expansion program. He just does it in his own timing. We have many great examples of this. When God wanted his people to build a tabernacle, Moses put the word out that resources were needed and the people gave. No debt financing was necessary. When Solomon wanted to build God's temple, he used the resources that God had already provided through the King's treasury. No debt financing was necessary. That is where we go wrong when we try to trump God.

So when is borrowing money a sin? At this point I am going to give my opinion. I believe that debt becomes a sin when we allow it to go beyond providing for our basal requirements (shelter, food, clothing, etc) to providing ourselves with luxuries if it binds our finances so strongly that we are ineffective in helping others with their basal requirements. In other words, if we are so strapped for cash because we bought luxury items for ourselves (or family) that we are unable to help others who really need it, then it is a sin. The other time I believe it is a sin is when we are inpatient in waiting for God to provide and we decide to take matters into our own hands. Then it is a sin because it is a condition of the heart. Either we didn't trust God to provide or we decided that his timing didn't meet our demands and we decided to change the timeline to meet what we wanted. In essence, we are saying, "hurry up God, you're way too slow!" 

What it really boils down to is that Karen and I are only truly responsible for how we handle our family's finances and the training we give our children in how they should handle their finances. However,  I also think that since God has allowed us to learn some valuable lessons through our experiences we should share those experiences in order to help others.

Poor Little Ol’ Me!

As a person who seems to be in a constant state of learning, thus the reason this blog is called “older dog leaning new tricks”, I find myself trying to find answers to questions that I have. Recently, I found myself questioning some things that just didn’t seem to pass a reasonableness test within me and I felt led to use some of my secular research skills to find some answers.  Now, I don’t pretend to be an expert in this field, so I am going to have to rely on information that I have found online when it comes to victim and aggressor relationships. I know for many people who read this blog this may not make a whole lot of sense, but for those who have been dealing with the same people and issues that Karen and I have for a while, this may make some sense.

Here is what was bothering me. I heard that a certain person was claiming to have been verbally abused and victimized by person(s) close to them but I have been around them over the period of several YEARS and witnessed the person who was claiming to be the victim as the one who was verbally abusive to the person(s) they were claiming was/were the aggressor(s). Now I am not so naïve as to believe that abusive aggressors cannot remain quiet and controlled in the public view, but I also wondered if there was such a personality where the aggressor plays the part of victim when out in public but can be abusive in private or within a close-knit circle of people where they feel safe.  It appears this is called self-victimization and it happens more often than we realize.

Apparently in these types of situations, the aggressor (playing the part of victim) tries to manipulate others into sympathizing with them in order to gain their assistance in abusing the real victim(s). According to what I read, manipulators often play the victim role (poor little ol’ me) by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else’s behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy. Since caring and conscientious Christian people cannot stand to see anyone suffering, the manipulator often finds it easy and rewarding to play on their sympathy to get their cooperation.

Hmm…perhaps the complexity of some of these situations that I have had to play a part within is the reason I have had a hard time figuring out what is the truth and what is reality.

Although I miss Austyn greatly and selfishly wish he were still with us, as I continue to sort through several years of data that I have stored up in my mind, I am sort of grateful that he isn’t having to deal any longer with the one individual who I suspect showed him almost no love, little grace and even less compassion. I strongly believe that he is in the loving arms of a God who continues to show him more love than his biological and “adopted” family could ever show. In the mean time, Karen and I will continue to provide moral and emotional support to his father and those family members who are willing to let us and wait for God to impart justice to those that exploited his vulnerability. I take refuge in God’s word which states, “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” Hebrews 4:13

Lessons Learned With Austyn: Moving from the Past into the Present

"...this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13

 

I suspect that I am not the only person who has regrets about some of the things I did or not do in my past that I wish I could change. If I really sat here and thought hard about it, I could fill page after page with regrets that I have related to the past and it would help catapult me into having one of the biggest pity parties imaginable. The main problem with that is that it wouldn't serve any real purpose. You see, no matter how remorseful I am about what I did,  or did not do, I can't change the past. Oh, I can be apologetic for some of the things that I did and if I there are things that I need to apologize for I should, but the fact still remains that I can't change the past.

 

As I stated in an earlier post, Austyn had some things that he was extremely remorseful about and wanted to apologize for. In some cases he was unable to do so because some people were unwilling to accept that God was capable of changing his life. This became an almost paralyzing problem for Austyn because he felt he couldn't move on unless things were made right. He had to learn that when he was willing to submit his life to God, stop being disobedient and give God complete control, God made him a new creation. As a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), he had been declared a child of God—redeemed, justified, sanctified and filled with the grace and love of Christ himself. Even if some people were not willing to accept his apologies, through God's justification he received a new standing of divinely given righteousness which no man (or woman) could prevent...that was the beginning.

 

Austyn did let go of the past, as best he could, and started moving forward in the present working towards goals that would benefit his future. He started taking courses through 'Work One' and was working towards his GED (now called TASC-Test Assessing Secondary Completion). He had mastered several areas and was really only needing to brush up on his math. In parallel with this, He was attending church at Bethany in Washington Indiana and was really enjoying the youth activities there. He even had participated in some domestic 'missionary' work within the Washington community. His last project was a human video based on 'Set Me Free' by Casting Crowns which he was directing. We know he was extremely excited about this drama because he called Karen up 5 days before he passed away and just talked on and on about it. In typical Austyn fashion, he was in a hurry to see it completed and performed.

So, what is the purpose of this post? As humans, we all need to let go of some of those things in our past that we can not change. God taught me some valuable lessons while I watched Austyn struggle in his attempt to rectify the wrongs he had committed. I am guilty of having a "talk is cheap" attitude. I am the type of person who finds it hard to take people's word that they are remorseful for the things that they have done that have negatively affected my life. I want to see something tangible to prove that they are remorseful. I want blood! That is the carnal side of Justin and I know that it is not right and it is not Godly. That is why I have had to repent for my attitude and allow God to show me that sometimes the only thing some people can do is apologize. Like Austyn, they may not have anything tangible to offer... but if God redeems, justifies and sanctifies them, then that is all they need.

 

The other lesson that goes hand-in-hand with moving from the past into the present and ultimately into the future is that with God's guidance, we need to establish goals that don't conflict with the Word and nature of God and allow God to help us take the steps necessary to bring those goals to fruition. Sometimes we have to set short term goals that we can accomplish relatively easily to give us the confidence boosts necessary to accomplish even bigger goals. Just as Austyn was working towards a short term goal of completing his GED, I don't think it was much of a stretch to believe that he had a longer term goal of going into ministry. I just think God has different plans for him.

O Be Careful Little Eyes

Remember this little song from when you were in Sunday School as a child:

O be careful little eyes what you see

O be careful little eyes what you see

There's a Father up above

And He's looking down in love

So, be careful little eyes what you see

Since childhood,  I have been fascinated with magic and illusionists. I remember when I was around 14 years of age we had some friends join us for dinner at our house. I decided to show them a "magic" trick in which I put a wooden match in a handkerchief and then had the man and his wife feel the wooden match wrapped inside the handkerchief. After they confirmed that the match was there and indeed unbroken, I had the wife snap the match stick in half. After saying some "magic" words to make the match stick be restored, I opened the handkerchief to reveal an "unbroken" match stick. The wife was totally amazed and thought it was a great "trick". The husband, on the other hand, wanted to inspect the handkerchief and upon close inspection found the secret seam that contained the broken match stick. The secret had been found out!

Over the years I have continued to have a fascination with illusionists and have learned quite a bit about how illusions are accomplished. The keys to all illusionist's success are those people who assist in the illusion and the fact that we tend, as humans, to accept what we "see" as being true and almost irrefutable. Especially in large illusions, without a faithful assistant who helps the illusionist "deceive" the eyes of the audience, the illusionist would have a really hard time accomplishing the feat. Over the years I have learned that "magic" wasn't really my calling in life but I still love to see a good "magic" show from time to time. Even though I understand how a lot of the illusions are accomplished, I still love to watch them because it is just plain fun.

Several months ago, due to an accident with a deer about a mile from our house, some friends of ours had to borrow our Sante Fe to travel up to visit a college. Everything worked out well for them on the trip and we were glad to assist. I mention this to provide an object lesson. Although my Santa Fe has been to this certain college, Karen and I have not been there. If somebody that we know well would have seen my Sante Fe, with the special Indiana Wesleyan University license plates and unique scratches on the drivers side rear panel, they would have suspected that we were visiting that University. By all appearances, they would have been justified in believing that we had been there. The proof would have been in the fact that our vehicle was there. However, by asking us personally about whether we had been there or not they would have found out that it wasn't us but somebody else who had borrowed our vehicle. Innocent enough, but these types of real life "illusions" happen.

As I have stated in the past, things that happen in the physical realm have application in the spiritual realm and vise-versa. Over the last several months I have viewed some things going on within my circle of friends that I have had to apply some of those spiritual decision making principles to that I spoke about in my "Now What God" post.

As much as I wish it were not true, as Christians we are not immune to making judgments about other people without knowing the full truth. Sometimes we listen to those disgruntled people who run around promoting "illusions" as facts that support their own less than honorable agendas. I don't argue that it is extremely challenging to know what is truth because so many people have become so adept at telling lies that appear to be truth. That is why I keep reiterating that we as Christians need to keep God first and foremost in our decision making process. We need to seek God to reveal to us what is truth and what is not. That may not happen instantaneously, so I also ask that people don't act on impulse and do things that could be damaging to another person's spiritual, economical, emotional or physical well being based on the "illusions" presented by others and that people will wait on the Lord to lead them into what they should be doing. In the mean time, we need to practice 1 John 3:18 which states, "Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth."

Lessons Learned With Austyn: Accepting Responsibility for Your Actions

The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them. Ezekiel 18:20 NIV

 

Anybody who truly knew Austyn knows that the young man was no angel. In the few years that I had known him he had committed several crimes and had wronged a lot of people. Because of his track record, most people didn't trust him and I will admit that when he came back into our lives 14 months or so before he passed away I was a little hesitant at first. One of the problems with Austyn was that after he committed a crime or hurt somebody, he wasn't usually remorseful about it. In fact, he was usually quick to blame somebody else or justify his actions based on his perception of somebody else's' prior actions. If he was apologetic, it was usually a "snow job" attempt to get off the hook for what he had done.  In a way I kind of understand why he was that way. He had been around a lot of actors/actresses and a lot of people who only pretended to be repentant or remorseful for their actions.

Austyn and I had some pretty intense face-to-face interactions over the first few months after he came back. He found out that Karen and I were not as naive as he believed us to be and that we would not accept the excuses he offered up for his actions. I made it very clear to him that he was responsible for his actions and nobody else. It truly was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It was tough love in a very tough way. The things that we made sure of, Austyn knew we cared about him, would always follow through with any promises we made to him and above all, loved him through our actions. He kept coming back. I guess that says it all.

When Austyn went to Lark Ranch with us in October 2012, he was wearing a cast on his right arm. Austyn had been accused of a crime, based on his prior history, and in his anger hit a cement block wall with his right fist. That fractured several bones in his right hand/arm. It was proven later that the accusations were false and that he was truly innocent of the charges. Austyn justified his actions of hitting the cement wall because he was angry that he had been wrongly accused. At that moment, I had to enact the toughest love that a "father" can. I made it very evident to him that he needed to start taking responsibility for his actions and stop blaming others for the "stupid" things that he was doing. That was the beginning of a transformation that God was preparing Austyn to go through. I would love to say that Austyn was on the right path at that moment, but it would take one more incident to really get his attention. He was arrested in December 2012 for operating a motor vehicle without a license and spent several weeks in the Martin County Detention Center.

It was after all of that when we starting to see a change. The old Austyn was being transformed because of the GRACE of God. We could really "see" the changes in Austyn. He would sit in the kitchen and tell us that he had made so many mistakes and owed so many people apologies. You could tell that he was being sincere and genuine. The "snow job" was gone. He had started taking responsibility for his actions, past and present and he wanted to make amends. At times he seemed almost in a panic because he wanted to apologize to people that he had wronged, he wanted to do it in person and he wanted to do it as quickly as possible. I would love to say that Austyn accomplished his goal, but unfortunately some folks would not allow him to apologize and I am sure they wouldn't have believed him if he had. Some folks only believe in God's grace when it applies to them, and not to somebody like him. Here is what I believe though because it is what the Bible says in Ephesians 2:8-9, " For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is

the gift of God—  not by works, so that no one can boast."

Really Loving Your Neighbor

When Karen and I moved to Indiana in 2004, we were hoping to buy a place with a little land where we could have an orchard, garden and a place for the boys to play. We were blessed to get a nice home out in the country with good tillable ground and some woods to hunt in. God truly blessed us in that area.

On top of that, we got some wonderful neighbors. Mike and Pat (his wife) have been really good neighbors. We know that they watch out over our place whenever we are gone and they have helped us in the past by tilling our garden (before we had a tiller), plowing our driveway and doing a myriad of other things. We have reciprocated in other ways. Overall it has been a really positive experience and I am grateful for the neighbors we have.

One of the most interesting passages of Scripture in the Bible is Matthew 22:35-40, where Jesus was asked, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” Jesus answered that the two foundational commandments in the Bible are, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind”; and “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Jesus was teaching us that the two greatest foundational commandments had to do with relationships. If you start looking through the scriptures, everything boils down to these two areas: relationship with God and relationships with others. It really is that simple.

Sometimes as humans we overlook simple things because we are always looking for things to be more complex, but have you really ever stopped and asked yourself: Who is my closest neighbor? Well, the answer is really quite simple. If you are married, your closest neighbor is your spouse. If you have children, that would also include them!

If one of the foundational commandments that Jesus gave had to do with loving our neighbor, and our closest neighbor is our spouse, then the Scriptures have a lot more to say about marriage than many people realize.

So when we read in Matthew 6:14-15 about our need to forgive others, we need to apply that to our marriage and family. When Colossians 3:8 tells us to put aside “anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from (our) mouth,” we need to examine ourselves and examine how we talk to and about our spouse and children.

As you read through the Scriptures over the next few weeks, look for ways to apply biblical truths to your relationships at home. After all, if your faith doesn’t work in the context of your family relationships, where will it work?

God Given Gifts of Laughter

There are times when I just need a good clean laugh. As a human being with problems and issues similar to what everyone else faces from time to time, I find myself slipping into a mode of negativity. For that reason I decided to write something with a little more emphasis on the happy side of life. There is no doubt in my mind that God gave us the gifts of laughter. There are so many benefits from laughing that I wanted to explore them just a little. So you’ll have to humor me and here we go…

Laughing helps us not to take ourselves too seriously!

Let’s face it. I can’t walk on water all of the time J. I make mistakes from time to time and sometimes it’s downright funny. I am forever laying items down and forgetting where I put them. There is absolutely no doubt that I could hide my own Easter eggs and have a good time trying to find them again.

Laughter helps us heal physically and spiritually!

In fact, research shows that it also has quite a positive impact on our physiology-relaxing our muscles, boosting our immune systems, releasing endorphins and decreasing stress hormones. From a spiritual perspective, it helps us to shake those negative thoughts and replace them with positive, God inspired ones.

Laughter helps us maintain balance in a world that can be downright ornery!

I don’t know about you, but I work in a place that can be dog eating dog at times.  People are stressed to the max for a myriad of reasons. One of the best places to see people exhibit their less than pleasant attitudes is at Walmart when they are in a hurry and not getting what they want. Sometimes I have to take a step back and just laugh at the ridiculousness of people! If only they could see themselves the way I see them…LOL.

Laughter helps us individuals and communities stay sane.

Laughing shifts our perspective and alters our mood. When things get extremely stressful, it really helps our outlook on life if we can find something to laugh about. Have you ever noticed how contagious laughter can be? One person starts laughing, then another and then another until everyone is laughing.  A group of people with a good sense of humor can accomplish a lot more than a group in turmoil (and have more fun doing it!)

Laughter empowers us to live more and more in the image of God in which we were created.

"But You, O Lord, shall laugh at them; You shall have all the nations in derision." Psalms 59:8
"The Lord laughs at him, for He sees that his day is coming." Psalms 37:13

If God has every good quality, and a sense of humor is a good quality, then it stands to reason that God has a sense of humor. Most of the instances in the Bible which portrays the quality of humor in God are when God laughs at men because of the futility of their efforts. It is evident enough for me that there are things that the Lord finds funny. So if God can laugh, I feel it is ok for me to laugh as well!

Secret Places

In my last blog, I talked about decision making and how when it comes to making decisions, God expects us to be spiritual people who focus upon spiritual decisions utilizing spiritual principles. If any of the leadership within our body read my last blog, they would have recognized the practices of increased prayer, searching the scriptures and seeking what would be most glorifying to God. That is the policy that the leadership adopted several months ago whenever important decisions needed to be made that could have huge spiritual or financial impacts on the body.

I shared that because over the last several months, Karen and I have adopted that same policy when it comes to making spiritual and financial decisions within our own home and we know from practical experience that it truly works. As a person who too often allowed my emotions to lead my actions, I have had to learn to allow God to be in control of issues that fall into his realm of expertise and ultimate final judgment. Of course, God doesn’t expect Christians to be totally catatonic when it comes to things going on around them. He expects us to react when he leads us to react and he expects us to speak out when things don’t line up with the Word or nature of God.

I alluded to this post in my last blog because I felt that God gave me both topics at the same time several mornings ago while I was lying awake in bed. When this topic first came to me, I really thought that “Secret Places” was going to be about physical places. As I was doing some labor intensive work out behind my house, I was “talking” to God at the same time and asking him for direction when it came to writing this blog. It was then that God revealed to me that what I had envisioned as “Secret Places” and what he intended were two different things. He was talking about the “secret places” that nobody except God could visit. It is the secret places of the heart.

I have chosen several verses from Psalm 139 because they tell us that God knows everything, including our thoughts and motives of the heart. I left some verses out because it is rather lengthy, but it doesn’t change the meaning of the message. (Psalm 139) ¹Lord, you have examined me and know all about me.² You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know my thoughts before I think them.³ You know where I go and where I lie down. You know everything I do.⁴ Lord, even before I say a word, you already know it.⁵ You are all around me—in front and in back—and have put your hand on me.⁷ Where can I go to get away from your Spirit? Where can I run from you?¹¹ I could say, “The darkness will hide me. Let the light around me turn into night.” ¹² But even the darkness is not dark to you. The night is as light as the day; darkness and light are the same to you. ²³ God, examine me and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. ²⁴ See if there is any bad thing in me. Lead me on the road to everlasting life. New Century Version (NCV)

When my family travels long distances, we frequently listen to the dramatization “Affabel, Window of Eternity” by John Bevere. One of the most enlightening statements comes from one of the rulers to a person who is getting ready to stand before the King (God). She says, “Your rewards depend on what you say and what you do. Not only will your words and works be examined, but the motive behind them. You will also be judged by the thoughts you embraced.  Do not forget God’s judgment is righteous, testing the mind and the heart. Man's judgment is in light of the visual world but God's is based on a different light.”

 

The problem with the Secret Places of the heart is that as humans, we can’t truly tell what is there. There are some awesome men and women of God who we wouldn’t even suspect because they are extremely quiet and meek and work under the radar of our Christian detectors. They have good hearts and do good things for God and get little or no recognition for their work here on earth. On the other hand, there are those other people out there with evil hearts. Oh sure, we can sometimes see the fruit that an evil heart produces but sometimes people can be really good actors/actresses and can deceive a great multitude of people for a long period of time before the truth is revealed. Especially dangerous are those people who have learned fluent Christianese and church practices through decades of Church attendance. That is why it is so important to adopt a spiritual decision making policy in your own lives and to seek the Holy Spirits guidance. Here is the bottom line; if something doesn’t feel right, sound right, or look right, perhaps the Holy Spirit is telling you that it isn’t right.

Now What God?

Life has been so crazy busy lately that I haven’t taken the time to write much. The other morning, while I was lying in bed, I felt the sudden prompting that I was supposed to write two blogs. The first was supposed to be related to decision making and the other was supposed to address the concept of “Secret Places.” So here is the first one…

Karen and I are constantly doing projects around the house that either needs to be done due to routine maintenance and upkeep requirements or because we are attempting to change/improve the conditions in which we live. With every large project that we attempt, we almost always encounter some sort of hiccup in the process that causes us to spend more time or resources in order to bring the project to completion. So many times I have wondered what it would be like to accomplish a large project without those issues that seem to hinder productivity and someday I suspect that we will have a project that will go as planned. In all honesty though, it is through the solving of those issues/problems that come up that I tend to learn the most. It requires me to do a lot of research, ask a lot of questions and sometimes seek the counsel of friends and/or family.

Over the years and many projects, I have learned that not all the advice that I get from google searches or from talking to others is good sound advice. As well as the intentions of the folks are that either posts their opinions or experiences online or those who give me their advice face-to-face, sometimes it just doesn’t quite fit the bill. It is for that reason that I have learned to include God in all decisions that could be potentially dangerous or costly. Now I know there are those folks who are thinking, “You should include God in all your decisions” and my response is that God does direct all my decisions because he gave me the wisdom to make the routine day to day decisions without seeking extra guidance every time I turn around. As a parent I want my boys to make routine decisions on their own and I believe that God expects the same of us. It is those non-routine issues that tend to be problematic for me and it is those types of issues that I run to God with.

So how does one go about finding answers to those non-routine issues that pop up in life? As much as I wish I could go running to my friends for answers (and I do have some really great friends), I know that ultimately the best answers come from God. It is for that reason that my decision making process must include God first. I have learned over the years that any decision that I make ultimately needs to please God. You see, any decision I make in the physical realm affects the spiritual realm as well. When it comes to decisions, God expects us to be spiritual people who focus upon spiritual decisions utilizing spiritual principles. Then it only makes sense that it all would begin with prayer. When a question arises that will affect mine or my family’s lives, the first step for me should be to spend significant amounts of time in prayer.  

Paul writes in 2 Timothy 3:16 that Scriptures are inspired by God so that the people of God may be completely equipped for life and ministry. The second step in a good decision making process should include the examination of the scriptures because all the available information we need to make wise decisions when it comes to spiritual matters is located here. The third aspect of spiritual decision making is that the decision should result in the glorification of God. We exist to glorify God in the community in which we live and are a visible representation of God to the community. Paul writes, “We are therefore Christ’s Ambassadors’” (2 Corinthians 5:20). In the decisions I make and the actions I take, I should always seek to reflect the character of God in such a way that his reputation is enhanced by what I do.

Lastly, Proverbs makes it clear that the wise seek the advice of many counselors (Proverbs 11:14; 15:22; 24:6). By seeking the counsel of many, we gain greater insight and understanding due to differing perspectives. This is the area that I suspect people need to be very cautious in. Sometimes folks will skip or lightly skim the previous steps of prayer, searching the scriptures and trying to bring glorification to God in order to get advice from others because they already know that what they want to do either violates the Word of God or will bring dishonor to him and they just want somebody to agree with them. This is extremely dangerous, especially if those from whom they are seeking counsel have not gone through the same steps of prayer, searching the scriptures and seeking what would be most glorifying to God. Here’s what I know to be true when it comes to getting advice from others. If it violates the Word of God (scriptures), its bad advice and I wouldn’t follow it.

To end on a positive note, God has put some really great Godly people in our lives and I would seek their counsel any time because I know that I could trust them. They are Godly people who would follow a similar decision making process and would provide me with honest and sound Godly advice, even if it wasn’t what I necessarily wanted to hear. Those are the kind of friends that I appreciate and gravitate towards.

Convincing Doubting Thomas

In 2006 the Department of Army decided to implement a very stringent LEAN SIX SIGMA program world-wide and they decided to launch by training 16 individuals chosen throughout Joint Munitions Command as LEAN SIX SIGMA Blackbelts. The concept was that those 16 individuals would return to their respective commands and be change agents throughout the enterprise by convincing others to embrace the methodologies of LEAN and SIX SIGMA. Because the Army’s mission was increasing exponentially, it was vital for everyone within the enterprise to recognize they were all working toward the same goal – warfighter readiness – and to be excited about where the enterprise was going.

After months of traveling and intense formal training, Joint Munitions Command finally certified their first LEAN SIX SIGMA Blackbelt. Within weeks, several of the other 16 were certified and the Joint Munitions Command began an aggressive blitz for Continuous Improvement. There were a lot of leaders following the progress of those 16 and tracking mechanisms were created to monitor the projects that were being facilitated by the Blackbelts.

It didn’t take long for leadership and the Blackbelts to realize that not everyone was seeing the overall big picture and goals of the enterprise. Although top and mid-level leadership had embraced LEAN SIX SIGMA methodologies, the employees who were actually working production did not seem to recognize the need to change the way they did things and were not eager to do so. The real battle was brewing. It was soon discovered that the real issue wasn’t that people didn’t really want to change; they just wanted to be part of the change process. It was important for everyone to feel ownership and that what they thought was just as important as anybody else, no matter what title they held or salary they received. To have long lasting success, the Blackbelts would always find the "biggest doubting Thomas" and ask him or her, what it would take to get their buy-in. Then the Blackbelt built an action plan around their response. The key seemed to be that if you could turn the biggest doubter into a believer, you could likely turn others.

So by now you are asking yourself “so what?” Well, I have learned over the years that a principle in the secular world can also be a principle in the Christian world. After all, both are inhabited by human beings. As much as we would like to believe that as Christians we may have better control of our feelings and emotions, many of us don’t. I definitely don’t claim to be a giant in this area as I frequently battle to maintain control of my negative emotions. If you ask Karen, I have gotten better and I have tried to be more submissive to God’s and the Holy Spirit’s leading. I guess I will use a paraphrased version of John 8:7 to say, “He that is without sin among us, let him first cast a stone at me.”

I wrote a while back about unity within the body of Christ. One of the statements was that the church needs to become a living body of unified human relationships graced by the Spirit of God. Becoming a unified body of believers requires us to work together to create relationships that become the fertile soil for growth, revival and a tremendous work of the Holy Spirit. Did you see the important phrase in the last sentence? It is “work together.” Sometimes I wonder if one of the biggest challenges in the Church is that its change agents have big goals for the Church but there is not a complete buy-in from the rest of the body. As in the secular arena, I believe the real issue isn’t that people don’t really want to change; they just wanted to be part of and have a voice in the change process. It’s important for everyone to feel ownership and that what they think is just as important as anybody else, no matter what title/position they hold. The bible says in Hebrews 13:8 that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.” As followers of Christ, we are to take the gospel message outside the walls of our church. As members of the Assemblies of God we need to commit to fulfilling the four-fold mission: evangelize the lost, worship God, disciple believers and show compassion. Unfortunately, the “how to” portion of that is left open for discussion and interpretation.

As I close, I want to reiterate that I don’t have all the answers. I am simply sharing an opinion and asking some difficult questions: Are we unified? If not, why? Keep asking “why” until you get to the basal cause. It may be very enlightening.

And just in case you didn’t know and were curious, yes I am one of the 16.